So, I was off to the cafeteria I had just opened the blog and I was starving. My mind on the journey, my heart on a prayer: “let there be beans, not just any beans, porridge beans yummy….” I was basically one with the world critically analyzing how much of a hump I can give my hair before I begin to look like an alien when a guy looked back at me. I eyed him. For one I hate being looked at, but must of all I hate being looked at by people who look like fart.
Yes. I am that girl. The shallow one with too much in her mind to bother herself trying to get into your head and understand why you look like crap today. I judge and I judge fast: what you wear, how you wear it, what you say, how you say it. There are just too many people in the world for me to sit down and start discovering everybody in the hope that I am not looking down on the future president. Dress like a tout, I treat you like a tout.
Anyways, this nigga-raw came up. Sagging? Who still does that?! Uncombed hair, opened his mouth and said: “sup?”
It started with “what’s up with you?” in the 80s.
“What’s up?” in the 90s.
“whatsup?” in the 2000s
Now its “sup”
Soon they’ll be speaking in letters.
I was very, VERY unimpressed and being the great actress I am, it didn’t take him 2 minutes to realise I disapproved of him completely. To add insult on top of injury, I now saw people I knew. Seeing me, walking with this ragamuffin. Making assumptions with their eyes. The wrong kind of assumptions. The assumption no girl wants made when she is with the wrongest people.
MY EMBARASSMENT WAS COMPLETE.
This is why I don’t do blind dates or meeting-ups outside. If I can tell you exactly what to wear fine, but no. I’ll now step in, looking hot (as usual) everybody wondering who she’s here to see. Then you’ll rise in your rags and they’ll now say it has to be jazz.
It will not even work like that. Life will not be that kind. It’s that day your ex-bf will be in that vicinity. The ex-bf you broke up with some 5 years ago and have never seen since then. He’ll now have one hot looking chic with him. That’s the drama life will put you in to act. You will now be left with pity and large buckets of disappointment.
My methods might be wrong and I’m pretty sure y’all will begin to chastise and tell me the what-ifs of life but I’m shallow and inconsiderate and that’s that.