…written thoughts

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I’m in a relationship. And I wonder how much there is to tell.

I find it especially funny when people refer to him as my “new guy” like I have guys around all the time. Which I actually do but not in that  dimension. And besides ‘he’- the not-so-new guy, has being on the scene for a really REALLY long time. But well I’ll just tell you a little bit, based on what I’ve learnt since our last fight and now.

I can tell you that not communicating with someone for more than two months is a lot harder when you’re surrounded by idiots. And a lot easier when you learn to forgive and forget.

I can tell you that forgiving someone is quite easy compared to the forgetting bit.

I can tell you how shocked I was when he proposed we meet up and clear the air.

I can tell you of the little changes I’ve gone through since we’ve begun again.

I can tell you that caring for someone is very different loving them… you can love someone without knowing how to care, and you have got to learn how to care for others too. Any fool can say I love you. It takes a special one to actually care.

I can tell you about a cute ‘super fly’ shirt and an awesome breakfast and a delivered dish and shared gum all from ‘yours truly’ I can tell you he is perfect for me.

BUT

I can also tell you how scared I am of him; How worried I get about going in too deep.

I can tell you how I cautiously dodge every “I love you.”

I can also tell you how when he just stays there looking at me… that thing that romantic novels describes as well, romantic; how I will blurt out anything at all: “gosh you have big eyes” is just one of many.

I can also add how weird I find it that he seems to get me…

I can tell all my doubts and fears and high moments and awesome moments….but telling you won’t really matter. Because, when you think of it, life only comes round once. I think. And I don’t know where all this is headed. It’s really scary this un-sureness.

God is supposed to have given each of us a picture of ‘the one’ that will make life a whole lot easier you know. No wasting your time with retards and assholes. Every breakup has a makeup session around because there’s no other bone for you out there.  So you can pour and waste all your emotion knowing that ‘nothing dey happen.’ But he didn’t do that did he? And I can’t very well hypnotize him and stamp ‘MINE’ all over him now can I? Can I? *mental note to self to look into that* So here I am, like every other person already paired up; feeling around with him and hoping that this is not gonna be a waste of time.

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11 thoughts on “…written thoughts

  1. I find this kinda funny b/c I have big eyes as well…:) and it’s true that life is not a rehearsal. Sometimes you just have to gamble and take a chance. It’s either that or you get to live with a ‘what if’ conscience constantly nagging you. I took a risk once, and it didn’t go the way I wanted it to go…I got hurt big time. But afterwards (read a very long time spent feeling bad, like the earth should open up and swallow me) I felt ok, coz I’d given it my best shot. So take the plunge. Life is too short, and it’s not a rehearsal…:) 🙂

  2. Awww n she wrote a post 4 him….so sweet….was workin to be dat one sha 😦 anyways.
    put fear away n enjoy every bit of the relationship till it lasts @ least n if it’ forever den fine enjoy that also 🙂

type now or forever hold your fingers :)

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