Approximately eight year ago, I started growing boobs… fat lot that did. The way they look, I could have started growing them yesterday and we’ll still be at the same finishing line… Okay. I exaggerate I’m not that flat. At the same time… I’m not that big. At all. You won’t even use slightly big to describe.

In fact, Rick Ross is probably bustier… lucky bastard. ( ._.)

Yeah Taiwo… envy me….

The first time I really noticed my boob-size was in my four-hundred level. Before then, they just seemed normal to me. I had asked my mum to buy bras because I wouldn’t be able to make it home for that holiday and mine got stolen (true story) … she got them. They didn’t look that different to me from my normal one, a bit heavier but that was all. Little did I know…

I resumed school that January and lo and behold, almost every guy I knew wanted a hug… demanded it in fact. Even if I stretched my hand for our customary hand shake or moved to the side for our normal side-hug, they would have none of it oh. They’d fling the hand aside and just grab me in a bear hug

I sensed something was changed but I just shrugged it off. Till one day, Omelette said something like “your breasts are looking bigger, what are you eating…” My eyes went WIDE… I have the idea that there’re some things you just don’t say out… (like penis and vagina and breast and sex … (//_\\) you get sha, I’m old school like that). So, I asked a cousin and we investigated … the bra was padded. Heavily. In fact, I’m pretty sure it can double as a bullet-proof. It’s like 2-3 inches thick… the embarrassing part was not the fact that I had no choice but to keep wearing it till the year ended (I mean, boobs don’t just disappear), It was the fact that everyone assumed my boobs got massaged by the boy-friend (omelette) leading to the size increase!!

The actual day I decided never again, was when Omelette mistakenly hit my bra-enhanced boobs one day we were playing… it hurt BADLY!!! I was adjusting it later and I noticed just how hard it was… it wasn’t like a rock, but at the same time, it just felt… you know… unreal. I was very embarrassed. I couldn’t look him in the eye. I knew, he knew… I had on fake boobs.

Admittedly, the silhouette when you having good set of boobs cannot be disputed, but why get used to a “perfect” silhouette that’s not yours… why not work with yours, you know? We can’t all have full boob, tiny waists, cute asses… faces are different, why shouldn’t bodies be too…


I keep imagining those poor men , who strip down their brand new wives on their wedding-nights and sees padded bra, waist clincher and ass pad…  give or take a man like him, and not the Beyonce-body he was expecting. IMAGINE THE HORROR!!! If I were a guy I will just turn over and cry myself to sleep.

where is the coca-cola shape??

I wear normal bras now. Sometimes. (DON’T JUDGE ME!!) Hopefully, I haven’t met future hubby yet, let him not be imagining what is not there. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still looking into boob enlargement… someone said massaging, another said pregnancy… having a child to get boobs? err.. NO? So, I have taken to massaging le boobies.  (>_<).

Hopefully, one day, the boobies will blossom… fingers crossed.

Yours’ in Vodka and arrows,

The Drunk Archer.


19 thoughts on “A Tale Of BOOBS”

  1. Lol. What is this? You dont need those unecessary mammaries joor. As long as you got great ass, youre good. But your future hubby might be a boob-freak so you gats do something abawrrit (. _ .)

  2. Loooool…. Funny tho. I Guess dis is wen God’s wisdom cums into play… 1 can’t jst have it all. Believe ♍ε.. Doz pple Ʊ think are perfect hav 1 K-leg or anoda. Love urself 4 who God has made Ʊ, Yoΰя furture Hobby shud be able to see beyond D boobs. N there’s Dis saying…. THE SMALL ONCE ARE MORE JUICY.. Dat might jst be correct.

  3. Lol, why would anyone steal your bra?!

    I have a similar problem. Nowadays, my stomach sticks out more than my boobs. I don’t have a typical hourglass figure, so that means that my waist isn’t that much smaller than my hips/chest. Add to that a bit of slouching and fat, and voila. Stomach sticks out, boobs don’t.

    One boy very subtly told me this a few days back, when I was joking about being a professional stripper. He said – you don’t have the assets to be one, if you know what I mean. But you could try Japan. They like them that way.
    You know what that means? It means not only had that boy NOTICED them, he had also JUDGED them as being inadequate.
    Needless to say I was very embarrassed.

    But you know, I kind of like being slightly flat. I don’t even have the ass to balance them, I’m pretty sure I’d look weird with bigger boobs.

    1. I’ve had my pant stolen before…. Only God knows.
      My stomach too is starting to turn into something else, like some monster its growing and growing… I keep saying I’ll do pull-ups but so far?. No show. All i want is a little more in the boobs department… 😦 that’s all.
      By the way, did you change your blog?

      1. Well you know, pants are a different thing; you can wear someone else’s pants (unless you mean UNDERpants). But a bra is something that sticks waaaay to intimately to someone’s skin. Unless the girl’s Really desperate, or the guy/girl is a creepy stalker, generally no one will want to put something that close to Their skin, that was That close to someone else’s skin 😛

        You might want to look around you for the creepy stalker 😛

        And no I didn’t change my blog. Does it appear any different?

  4. Hehehehehe…….I jus kept wondering y all of a sudden ur decimal point breast became large @ dat time…….nywayz, hp ur massage wrks tho….pls alert me if it works, I might do it…..nt like I need it tho

type now or forever hold your fingers :)

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