akwarment 104: the God-sent maga

You have prayed and prayed for new phone. You have spoken in tongues and taken communion… sprinkled holy water and used anointing oil. and now… BHAM!!!

Imagenew phone! uh huh!!

Good day class, welcome to AWK 100 class. A hands-on class on what to do when you find yourself in an awkward situation. blah blah… 104 means there’s 101, 102, 103.. so look it up if you want to pass this class. ^_^.
Plot: you have needs. You’re dating someone. Someone else gets you a phone.
You might be tempted to:

(a) reject the phone…. this answer is err… stupid?? why will you even think that? I’m so ashamed… ssoooo ashamed. Reason: do not throw pearls before swine. Are you a pig? If you are a pig, kindly
remove yourself from this blog before I tell farmer john you have snuck into his house to update your Facebook status.
Good, so we are all non-pigs now. And we all like shiny things. So take the phone and say thank you. Assuming or course that
you didn’t beg shamelessly for the phone. If you are a beggar, kindly remove yourself from the blog before I …. er…. before I … I
donno. Uggh!! Fine beggars can stay but, if I hear a single “abeg…” y’all gon learn today.

(B) you might now be feeling all smart and shii, dancing on one spot, going “eh hen, eh hen, yeah yeah yeah!!!”

Stop it. That’s retarded.

Next problem is the person you’re dating. You’re feeling good about yourself, cooking up a story (lie) about how your
mom mistakenly gave birth to a goat, hands were laid, anointing oil poured, holy canes whipped and it transformed into a phone.
Err….. no? Tell the person that someone (insert name) bought you the phone. Trust me. He won’t even believe you.
The average male thinks that the girl they’re interested in has “taken” stamped on her forehead, and that other guys stay away… I
donno why. I do not have chest hair… ask an ibo girl or something. So, he’ll think you’re lying… trying to make him jealous or something.

P.s: I saw my first hairy cleavage some weeks back. I still wake up sweating. hint: she was Ibo.


2 thoughts on “akwarment 104: the God-sent maga”

type now or forever hold your fingers :)

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