Today was cool. I went to a birthday party, really didn’t feel like dancing, but i did. No bones were broken in the process. ^_^
I came home to meet the brother i thought i hated, but have realized i really don’t care about him. At all. #winning. He had bowls and bowls of nobody-gives-a-fuck to yan. Buckets in fact. And i, amazingly, couldn’t give less of a fuck. It was like an absolute stranger trying to tell you what to do with your life.
I’m so excited. This dude is an emotional bully. He’d say whatever hurtful thing he can come up with to just make you sad. Since as young as i can remember oh. When i was good at school work and not yet quite the cook (age:13-14years) he would scorn my education and tell me nobody will ever marry someone who cannot cook. I decided i didn’t want to get married, and i believed that for a long time, i wasn’t born to be chained in some man’s kitchen.
Did i mention he’s the same one that slapped me?
But today, 22nd of November, today will go down in history. He talked and talked and talked. AND TALKED!! And guess what guys, i couldn’t be bothered… Not even the slightest bit. It was crazy!! As in my mood even shot up when he was done. All i could think about was that he had better make sure he meet the woman that will put up with his bullshit.
Which brings us to the reason for this post…. *drummroll*
I donno if it’s just me that had the mindset that your “better half” should be able to put up with your bullshit. Like… “Hey, i’m a slob, so my better half should be someone that can put up with that….” You catch my drift? You’re like the worse half…
I mean, nobody is perfect, but we should try to improve now… Why should some poor girl/guy be subjected to your bullshit because you cannot self-improve? You cannot look at yourself and note the bad behaviors/ mannerisms you have and work on it? But you have eyes to note everybody else’s bad manners…. (By you, i mean me inclusive oh)
And i don’t mean asking people what they think of you either…. You will never get a true picture of yourself from someone else’s eye… Believe me, i’ve been there. I have spent three-quarters of my life confused by my identity. Because, i asked the girl who akef me for my food when i was ill with measles what she thought of me in my yearbook and she wrote i was mean and cuted that as her example. And i believed. Or the one, one of my besties (Ayo) brings up once in a while, That told me i and someone else were the ugliest in the set. and i believed her. You guys have no idea how much Ayo hates this girl. i refused a beauty pageant to represent my House in school because of that, none of my friends could understand.
And one dude told me today i was shy. I Laughed at him. Why? Because i know myself better than him now…
So take a sit guys and look at yourself and define yourself with your own eyes. Then improve on the bad sides not only for your future/ present spouse and friends, but because you don’t want to remain a caterpillar when you’re butterfly. AND don’t let yourself fall into anybody’s defination of what/ who they think you are.
*********** drunk archer OUT!!! *drops mic* **************