the machete, the pounded yam, the prophet

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He opened the door and slipped into the house.

It had been  sixteen long months. he had counted. He missed his wife he hadn’t seen her . He wanted to see her and he wanted to… he grinned. She won’t be sleeping this night.

And the baby… he wanted to see his baby. He imagined the little thing, she’ll be trying to crawl he guessed. He hadn’t even seen a picture yet…

Funny enough, she wasn’t home. Nobody was.

*

“PUSH!!! I SAY PUSH!!!”

The woman on the bed lay sweating and grunting like a disgruntled pig. Her once pretty features twisted in pain more at the thought of the water-melon that was about to pass out of her vagina than any actual pushing… 13 months pregnancy, who ever heard of that? Which kind of abomination was she delivering? What would she tell her husband?

The doctor turned to the nurse in wonder, “this woman dey hear word at all?”

*

“madam? Do you know where my wife is?”

if anybody knew where his wife was, it  would be the street’s newspaper… or textbook, judging from how fat she had gotten.

“she’s in the hospital…

“hospital? Is she sick?!”

The gleam of malicious gossip disappeared from her eyes replaced by what looked to him like pity.

“no … oga sit down let me tell you everything…”

*

The prophet lay still in the darkness of the room around him were lit four candles.  … fully clothed in his white gown and eyes shut, he started to vibrate, muttering things.

“eregbetiro eregbatidin!!!”

Suddenly, he jumped on a stool with the grace of a goat. His visitor watched in shock as he started to hop on the stool. His eyes were tight shot , sweat poured freely from him, the stool shook. she wondered what her prophecy would be if he fell down.

“WOMAN KNEEL DOWN!!”

Heart beating, she did as he commanded.

“Oluwa has sent a message.” His gold tooth gleamed as he smiled and slowly pulled off his clothes, “you must do exactly as I say.”

*

“PROPHET!! PROPHET!!”

Kola only had time to fling the white dress over his shoulder and sit in the corner and face the wall in the darkened room before  the woman ran inside the room. His could barely control his anger and irritation… the smell of the pounded yam, egusi and goat meat that Mama Nkechi had come to sacrifice this morning tickled his nostrils as he tried to stay still and motionless… this useless gossip never knew when to come. That was how she barged in and almost caught him with that ChiChi girl yesterday. Chichi, he smiled faintly at the memory.. he would definitely take that one again.

“HE IS COMING OH! YOUR ARE FINISHED!”

Kola forgot his position, he forgot Chichi, he even forgot mama Nkechi’s well pounded yam; leaping up, he demanded “WHO? WHO IS COMING?

All He heard was a shuffle, the bang of a fat person hitting the floor and a shout. Then the undeniable sound of a cutlass been dragged on the concrete floor. The sound was coming towards him!

THE END.

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