A couple of Sundays ago, I was listening in on Bishop T. D. Jakes’ preaching on 102.3 inspiration fm. For that day, his sermon was basically answering questions put forward by his congregation. I thought that to be pretty cool.
I had tuned in late, so the one question I got was; if i don’t pay my tithes, will I go to hell?
The answer: No… and he gave the reasons.
People have asked me if I can ever pastor a church… the answer is “No.” Why? Because if I were in the Bishop’s church, these are probably the questions you’d have heard:
Are christians allowed to wear shorts? A lady in my church told me I shouldn’t wear my slightly-above-the-knee shorts when we’re going preaching and I laughed and kept wearing ’em. Because I like shorts. And God gave me great legs.
- Are christians allowed to want piercings? Mine has closed, and I wanna re-open it, because. It, is. Awesome.
- Are christians allowed to party? Because I like going to parties, and dancing. Its fuuuuun.
- What if a random dude decides to grind you at said party, is breaking his head with a bottle of anointing oil holy enough?
- What music will be played at a christian party? And does two words “christian” and “party” don’t look happy to be side by side,
- Do christians ever really have fun… like real REAL fun? I mean, I have fun. A lot. Am I , per chance, not christianly enough?
- Is it weird that I don’t like when guys treat church like a singles-mingle forum?.. like all girls in church that are single are praying for marriage… I want a puppy. A job. My apartment. first.
- Why is dressing up for church such a big thing in my head? Like it’s a date…
- How does God overcome the urge to make us do stupid things so he can laugh at our expense?… if I was God, i would… I’d make your hand slap your own face while you’re talking to your boss… maybe add a fart too… 🙂
- Is it weird I don’t like been to friendly with churchies (church people)? The average churchie is over bearing and judgemental… I don’t think they fart… probably explains why their head is clogged with…. oh look, a butterfly…