boyfriend, life

So i’ve been hiding someone

heyyy guys!!! today is a really special day to someone that’s very special to me… making it a special day to me too. It’s his birthday and i’d like to introduce him to you. he’s been on the blog as omelette before but, I’ll rename him someone… but we’re ahead of ourselves, let’s start at the beginning


a little over five years ago, between the last days of November and the first of December of the year 2010, in a little place that looks like a slice of Heaven (but isn’t), in the middle of a place called Canaanland in Ota, Ogun state, a School was closing down for Christmas and not one of its students can wait to be on the opposite side of its gate.

This random evening, two girls are out on the streets, one is on the hunt to find her best friend turned boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend turned best friend, Dotun.

Dotun is not in his room.

“Check the shopping mall,” his roommate says and away they go. It is imperative she sees Dotun. He told her she was a liar and that it was impossible when she had told him she had bought a dress at the trade fair and now, Now she must gloat and make him eat humble pie with a sprinkle of apologies.

Underneath a canopy of trees en-route the aforementioned mall, they run into Essien and someone he is out with. Essien is friends with the other girl and they stop to chat, leaving the be-dressed girl to talk with the someone that was out with Essien.

Someone told her his name was Timi. A name she, as she was bad with names, promptly forgot. But they would run into each other the next day AND the day after that and the name would have no choice but to stick in her head.

Someone made her laugh that night and said her dress was pretty. She found it mind-boggling that anyone would wear a starched white corporate shirt on a stroll.

A moment later, both parties parted, the girls in their search for the elusive Dotun and, someone and Essien disappeared into the night.

and that was how I (the be-dressed girl) met my special someone.

Three years later, and with uncountable breakups and make ups with each other under our belts, the timetable said it was my turn to be done. And done I indeed was.

I wanted to flex with a spic and span conscience and I was not happy with us.

I did a fancy breakup speech to wrap it all in a pretty package: a long eloquent speech detailing our history, advantages, disadvantages and why the current atmospheric conditions suggested we were ruining ourselves for other people by staying together… a speech worthy of an inaugural lecture; detailed and thought provoking. Then I asked for any questions from my audience, he asked what I thought of been married to him.

Some weeks later, we had a huge misunderstanding and I demanded he delete my number. I deleted his, blocked him on whatsapp, Facebook and twitter like the bricklayer I must have been in a past life. It was the perfect break I needed to, in the words of Ceelo Green, forget youuuuu.

A year later and we’d have talked things over and would be tiptoeing around dating again. My brain asked me if I was crazy, reminding me of all our past breakups and past hurts. But my heart had already taken the plunge, leaving my brain muttering on how no good would come of this. My common sense remained vigilant and gave us the 2 months expiry date that had come to define how long we could tolerate ourselves.

2 months became 3 months, 3 became 4, 4 became 5 and I got worried… No fight? No argument? I mean, I’m awesome but I’m not THAT awesome. What if he was just acting like he was okay with us because as he had said “better the devil you know than the devil you don’t”? Or maybe things were working out because he was so far away? Ayo, my female other half, told me to calm da fuck down, and just give my 100% and if things fell apart? Well, I’d have an i-tried-my-best-but-things-didn’t-work-out pity story, not an i-was-scared-it-was-going-so-well-so-I-ended-it excuse that would get me locked up in an asylum.

We all need an Ayo in our lives. (buy your own Ayo on Jumia or Konga for only £299,999.99.)

5 became 6, 6 became 7, 7 became 8. 8 became 9, 9 became 10, 10 became 11. Somewhere between all those months becoming other months, he was back in Lagos, the distance factor disappeared and I started to realize that this was real and actually working… I mean asides the time when he complained that I didn’t demand to be a third wheel when he wanted to go out (a situation most guys would see as a blessing) and one HUGE argument, things were going really really good.

He’s patient with me and I know because, I can be a handful once it’s a full moon. he’s très considerate, and always supportive. Let’s not talk about the generosity bit… you guys… don’t make me bring up the a/c of my car that actually blows cold air. COLD AIR!!! he got that to happen just because he saw me sweating. And then, he appeared out of thin air on my birthday when he was meant to be in another state, approximately eleven hours away. He has no qualms about taking the first steps to make things right when things go wrong with us, which has taught me to try do the same and he relates with people, both friends and not-friends, really well; I’m the if you’re my friend you get all the love, if you’re not, you’re dead to me. And his work ethics are amazing.

These aren’t i-love-him-so-i-only-see-the-good-in-him observations. He isn’t  perfect, what he has is a gold medalist in jumping to conclusions, and if you want a late nightly tête-a-tête,he is not the man for you; the combination of 10 at night and his bed is kryptonite and will have him dead to the world in seconds. And if by ‘luck’ he picks the call, he will give you some incoherent gibber gabber that sounds like it came out of Harry Potter. Then, there’s the part where he decides to tell me about a particular thing, he forgets to tell me and then forgets he forgot to tell me and then asks me later if I remembered when he said this particular thing… all of which, like my love for cartoons, makes sense to nobody, But they are him and I wouldn’t change anything… except maybe the Harry Potter chants.

Our history hasn’t been as straight as I’d have wanted it to be. If I had my way, we’d had things working out since the first time we met or we’d never have met till this last one started. No drama, no girlfriend (his), no weird exes (his), no opinionated friend (mine)… just smooth sailing all through, holding hands on a domesticated donkey and riding into the sunset. But noooo, it was drama drama drama, like a Mexican soap opera.

Then again, I don’t know if he’d have been as special to me without all the tidbits… plus, it makes for a good story too!

He is the groundnut in my gari,  the cold water in my gari,  the bread dunked in my chocolate, the clutch of my car, the biscuit soaked in my milk, the last piece of dodo in my plate and current boyfriend extraordinaire. And he is my someone special ☺




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