Putting on big girl pantaloons

I hinted to you guys on how i pulled out of being a bridesmaid at an acquaintance’s wedding in yesterday’s post.
Some of y’all will be thinking:
“wow.. She’s just an animal”
“Who the hell does she thinks she is…?”
“Full of herself.. Like she’s in demand or something”
“If that was me, I will NEVER NEVER  talk to her again..”
“Pride goes before a fall…”
“i bet she’s mad because she wanted to be chief bridesmaid.”
“This life… People will be acting up, even as ordinary bridesmaid..”
“She’s just jealous that she’s still a single Pringle.”
All i ask is that you talk one at a time and lodge your complaint  to the bouncer to my left that’s holding a whip.
Yes. A whip.
Now, shhh and let me explain my case.
It was a not so random day in August and i was sitting at the very spacious, plenty seatious  lounge at ozone cinemas with my friend, Dammy. When a call came in to my phone, that was adorned with two rubber bands to hold my battery in place. It was Miss acquittance (who got engaged in the last post and shall remain nameless), she told me she was getting married and had been proposed to in May and would i be one of her bridesmaids?
I did the maths. May. May to august is like two months right? TWO MONTHS AGO?
Instagram, she says, she had posted pictures on Instagram and had forgotten i wasn’t on Instagram. That was why she was telling me so late.
Instagram shitagram.
If i get proposed to, while the guy is still on his knees I’ll be calling all my friends like “honey, please, hold on a second..omg.. AYO!! YOU WILL NOT BELIEVE WHAT IS HAPPENING!!! Ayo, please hold on..i need to call Seun. SEUNN, GUESS WHO HAS SOMEONE KNEELING IN FRONT OF HER?! Seun, I’ll call you back. BISOLA!! about to get a ring put on it.. .like in 2 seconds.. DAMMYYYY…!!!”
You get the picture?
Anyway, i decided to just go ahead, get it done and move on from it. She was probably calling me to round up the number of bridesmaids she wanted and I wouldn’t have remembered to call her while i was calling everyone with soon-to-be-fiance on his knees. We weren’t that close anymore. In  secondary school? Yes. But now? No. We had grown out of our secondary school selves and i wasn’t her type of person anymore and she wasn’t mine either. We talked twice a year. When i called on her birthday and when she was in town. Her being in town wasn’t even settled. It was a mix of “in town” AND boredom. So, she can call today and ask if we can hangout today that she’s leaving tomorrow after been in town for days.
Anyway, some months later. The bridesmaid bill came up. It wasn’t HUGE. The last time i had been bridesmaid, I’d spent more than double the amount she was mentioning.
But, unfortunately, i was broke. I could have borrowed money, yes. In fact, i had made moves to do just that but, other priorities costing just as much and way more important started coming to mind and knocking. Borrowing money to pour down into one day for a dress versus an electric machine or much needed fabric, When after the wedding, she’d ride into her sunset and honeymoon with her brand new husband and I’d be left with bills in one hand and a bridesmaid dress (I will probably never wear) in the other.
So, all things weighed and considered, i apologised explained my monetary predicament. It was embarrassing to say the least. I mean, there’s nothing prideful in penury. But a man’s got to do what a man’s got to do… Even a woman. And then, the wedding turned out to be in a completely different state! In those times of fuel scarcity where you pay 120 per litre and still have to “tip” the attendant? Nope!
On the wedding day i sent her congratulatory messages and hightailed it off to help Seun out at TPL. She replied this message that was sent December 19, on January 4. The unfortunate thing about WhatsApp is you know when someone has read your message and has been online since. I don’t blame her but neither, do I care. Decisions had to be made… Opportunity cost… And its always better to realise a friendship has run it course and died than to invest time and money to something that has no future.
It happens. Its life.
Now, If it was my best friend’s wedding, i would have used a bicycle to ride to Ondo state (4 hours drive away) selling groundnut on the way to make money to pay for the bridesmaids dress. I would take a loan from the bank even. I would sell my favourite butterfly shoes on .But it wasn’t Ayo, so I put on my big girl pants and made big girl decisions. Because if i don’t, nobody else will.
*drops mic*


2 thoughts on “Putting on big girl pantaloons”

  1. ” Now, If it was my best friend’s wedding, i would
    have used a bicycle to ride to Ondo state (4
    hours drive away) selling groundnut on the way”
    Oshey, elepa on wheels.

    Really, its just wise decision making.
    If there is money to spare, no wahala.

type now or forever hold your fingers :)

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