The Making of a Feminist.

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​I was 14 years old. I was a loner and my few friends lived in other states. School had closed for the holidays and my new best friends were books. Unfortunately, we were running out of books i hadn’t read (i had been reading since 7). Luckily, after digging into many boxes, i found a book i hadn’t read, it was titled never such innocence.

It was about a life in England in the Victorian era. The original feminist movement had just begun in that book. Women were vying to be able to inherit property from their families. In those times, women were “under the protection” of males in the family. A woman needed to go out only in the company of a man, respectable woman shouldn’t work, also if the female child doesn’t get married, she is subject to the handouts her brother or male cousin (whoever that is male, inherits). The only relatively free women in those societies were the widows. 

Anyway, the main female character found out the husband she loved the most was in love with another woman and went into the feminist movement to rile him up been as he was in parliament and the feminism riots were a big ache in their backs. Of course, they made up but, her eyes had been opened to the experiences other women were going through… Living in the lap of luxury as a duchess, she had contented herself with her husband and watching her children grow old and getting dresses made each season. But, now she was more aware of the unmarried women, divorced women, women born into lower classes and their desire for survival.

They vied for the right to work in respectable profession, the right to travel without a man to “protect” their virtues, the right to get an education… The right to exist without a man. They threw rocks into public buildings, went to jail repeatedly for being a public nuisance, they submitted numerous petitions, they fought.

That was when i discovered feminism. The feminism i know… The right for a woman to live her life to the fullest. That was the rise of feminism. 

Feminism of these days is still what it is, but the more ignorant people see at as “trying to be a man” or “against marriage” or “against cooking for your husband” or “to be better than men” and that when you are in your thirties and unmarried you will start praying for husband.

I think it’s stupid.

I think it’s stupid that some people legitimately feel that a woman can only be fulfilled in life when she is married. Marriage that we all know by now is a helluva lot of work.

I think it’s stupid that there is a deadline age that people feel you should have decided to have found the person you will spend the rest of your life with.

I think it’s stupid that feminism has been dumbed down to “don’t wash, don’t cook”.

I grew up watching my mum slave around my dad and us. Eventually, i became super against things like that. I was young then so, i assumed all men were the same and i didnt want that for my life. I decided to not be married. Ive since learnt that those were choices my mum made. She chose to do those things and grumble under her breathe and complain to me that the my dad didn’t help. My dad, as well, grew up in a polygamous home where my grand dad was king with five wives to fawn over him and his nineteen children so, nothing out of ordinary was going on; he Assumed something in Women must just have us naturally gravitate to and love domestic stuff. 

My mum could have said “honey, can you help me in the kitchen” on one of her tired-from-work days early in the marriage and formed a help-me-out union irrespective of their parents’ marriages. But, she didn’t. And their duties were cast in iron.

Still, those were her choices.

‘Who does what in a home’ has nothing to do with feminism. A home is meant to be a union of two people making it work. This isn’t the days of man makes money and woman stays home. It does happen, but it is rare. These days you and your spouse go out everyday and work hard… It’s a little selfish to put your leg up and cross them whilst the other is running circles on domestic chores isn’t it? That’s logical. Not being a feminist.

 The Man propose or the woman proposes, You ask a man out on a date, you pay for a date, your partner cheats on you, You dont want to wear a bra, You dont want to cook for  your husband. Nobodies problem. None of these is a feminist issue. None of these does a feminist make.

Your partner lays hands on you, you need counselling and a safe escape, that’s a problem. Making a 12 year old a wife to a man, That’s a problem. Saying that females have no reason to get an education since all they are needed for is to marry and have kids.. That’s a problem. Rejecting a female for a job “because she will only get pregnant and take pregnancy leave eventually, that’s a problem. 

That’s our own society’s need for feminists today. Because a man, no matter how empathic will not be able to bring help to these situations as well as a woman can.

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2 thoughts on “The Making of a Feminist.

  1. Its a common saying that choosing the right spouse is the most important decision you make. I’m an equal partner in my marriage- it brings joy to my life, not drudgery. I cook, I clean, I look after the children- not because it’s my role but because both of us just pitch in for all of those needs- I don’t do any of them all by myself. Wait for a partner- anyone who rushes into a marriage with the wrong person sets themselves up for a lifetime of unhappiness!

type now or forever hold your fingers :)

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