Today, i was cleaning out my room. It’s been really busy of late and when I get so busy, I tend to be a lot light handed in hygiene and clearing up. I survive on the basics. So, since i woke up late and missed the church bus, I decided to use my time for sunday nap to do the needful.
I had a mound of documents, old sermon notes, church bulletins and fliers I had gathered up some weeks back and, I went through them seperating the useful from the not so useful. Is it just me that feels guilty throwing away church fliers? But guilt or not.. They were getting too many and had to go.
Anyway, I’m going through this and I stumble across a letter. It is addressed to my ex on his birthday (click here). I decided to read it, I’m not really sure why. I wrote the letter so, you know, i knew what was all in there. But well, read it I did.
Turned out to be, yes you guessed it, a bad decision.
I cried myself silly. Red eyes, sniffles, throbbing headache, the whole 10 yards. I mean it’s being months for Christ sake! How can it still hurt?!
Inner me started asking all these questions, why does it still hurt? What could you have done differently? Is it a regret or a lesson learned? And I’m just looking at this letter and i want to tear it and put it in the trash and forget everything. But i can’t bring myself to. For now.
I should have just gone to church.