My bag did the honours of preserving the seat for his friend while I wondered why he hadn’t told me earlier. He had booked for the tickets since afternoon, so it wasnt a spontaneous decision. What If I had gone with the homeless look I had originally planned? The cinema was practically back door so, dressing up to it was a chore. I had come here in shirt, gym trousers and bathroom slippers a lot of times. It was only because I needed to wear long sleeves, I had changed my plan. I am susceptible to cold. Very susceptible. My only long-sleeve was a black off shoulder number. It was either that or a jacket. I went with the former and matched it with ankara shorts.
Shortly into the movie, the friend arrived and I asked Eggman to switch seats with me so he coul seat closer to his friend. He declined. So, I, Taiwo the winner of the socially Inept/ socially awkward award for twenty seven years running was supposed to make small talk with the friend. You don’t win decades of awards by being predictable and I think my decision to not say anything to him after greeting him will help me secure this year’s award.
Let’s be honest, what in the world do I have to say to a perfect stranger? Besides, you weren’t meant to talk in the cinemas; that’s bad behaviour. I kept up my movie commentary-review to Eggman though. At one time, his friend laughed at something I had said. Either he had developed spidey senses and could hear the lowest decibels or he was actually focused on listening to what I was saying. I desperately wanted to believe he was listening in: Weighing my words and checking if I was good enough to be talking to his friend, making sure I was a sane person before his friend fell in too deep… but I’m forced to admit the developed spidey senses made a LOT more sense than all that jibber-jabber. It would also explain why he came in late: He was out fighting crime, keeping the streets of Lagos clean. He was on his phone half the time anyway and I bet you there’s a spider man drone that he had on patrol and was monitoring it’s movements. I wanted to turn to him, shake his hand and say thank you so much sir. But, i was socially inept not crazy. That award is already full of nominations of Nigerian presidents, governers, ministers and senators… I wouldn’t stand a chance.
Late into the movie, the cold began to sip into my clothes. I had taken a pee-break to have a feel of the warm outside but now I was back and with no more excuses to leave. And then it began, the dreaded repercussion of not wearing warm clothes; my teeth began to chatter. Loudly. My hands quickly covered my mouth and I tried to keep my eyes as wide as I could so it looked like I was surprised and captivated by the fighting scene which was on. I hoped desperately that the speakers cancelled out the chatter noise.
It did, I think.
And I maintained my shocked and surprised look till the end of the movie.
Eggman took me home and I was right in my drunk long-island assumption of last week because we hugged and left it that without the emotional instability and week-long thought provokiness of a kiss.
[Comes out to take a bow amidst cries of encore, is surprised by angry audience who throw tomatoes, which is fortified with vitamin C and great for the skin. Win-win.]